How to Shop for a Wedding Dress That Isn’t White

Oh baby, Lilly Munster. Ain’t got nothing on you.
~ Black No. 1 by Type O Negative

Unfortunately, most bridal shops don’t carry “wedding gowns” that aren’t some shade of white. And I don’t care WHAT they say, ivory IS white. I agree that it’s a shade of white that will compliment my complexion, but it is STILL white. Places like David’s are getting better about adding elements of color to their designs, but the majority of dresses marketed to brides are well, not black.

And depending on where you are looking, some sales people are going to be more stubborn than others. They’re just not going to get it. In their world, all brides get married in white. They all want veils or tiaras. Oh and they all want to cover up their tattoos. But if you’re reading this, it’s more likely that you want your dress to accent your back piece or that you want your dress to compliment your bright blue hair. (Or maybe you simply don’t look good in white.)

The easiest way to get the exact dress you want is to have it custom made, but this option can be very expensive. You could also make it yourself, but you’re going to have a lot of things to do as your wedding day gets closer. Making a dress can be time consuming, and may not go well if you’re not an accomplished seamstress.

So you’re going to go shopping. And in my mind, the fastest way to avoid unwanted sales pitches, is to lie. Tell them you’re a bridesmaid. Tell them your office is having a large formal celebration. Tell them you’re chaperoning a prom. It doesn’t matter. All of these statements will get you treated like a normal shopper, and not like a Bride(tm). You might get the brush off if a Bridezilla walks in the door, but the plus side to this is you won’t have to deal with sales pitches.

And if you’re anything like me or my friends, you’ve already started checking out dresses online. I recently went to an appointment at a tiny boutique with a friend of mine, and she brought a list of item numbers of dresses she liked and wanted to try on. The saleswoman was at a loss. We broke the script. She launched into a very practiced speech about how dresses you see on the internet might not look right for her body type, and it was important for my friend to try on different types of dresses to see what would work best. We politely explained that this was precisely why we had come in to try them on. Unfortunately, this is the typical MO of many a bridal shop. They want to get a quick idea of what the bride likes and just start bringing her dresses. Good salespeople will be able to track down a dress by it’s item number. Others can’t or won’t.

So you can make appointments at several different bridal boutiques to find one of the awesome ones. Or you can consider skipping the shops all together. If you go this route, your first stop is to check out the mall during prom season. Prom dresses come in lots of colors, although not always wedding appropriate styles. Your next stop should be to second hand shops in your area. Finding the perfect dress in your size might be more difficult, but these shops are often hiding hidden treasures. And if you’re feeling brave, go ahead and order some dresses from web retailers. Check their return policies first and be prepared to pay to ship the rejects back. In addition, if you can’t find the perfect dress, but can find an inexpensive version of “almost perfect” you can use the money you saved to get the dress altered.

In the end, what’s most important is that your wedding dress is comfortable and makes you feel beautiful. Unless you’re planning on wearing a corset, and then comfortable is optional.

2 Responses to 'How to Shop for a Wedding Dress That Isn’t White'

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1. If you’re going in the ‘prom dress’ direction, if you’re looking for something more classic and less… *ahem* trendy… in other words, something you’d not only be able to wear again, but something you’d want to wear again, I’d recommend Jessica McClintock, or if you can find him, Scott McClintock. I still own two lovely prom dresses, one from each and have worn them both to formal functions since. They’ve withstood the ravages of time, which lesser quality dresses (in my experience) will not, and although Jessica’s designs are usually more trendy, they will usually still have those classic elements that make them last. Scott is her father and tends to design a more classic dress, but I think they both design prom and formal dresses that would look amazing on any non-traditional bride. For that matter, Jessica does have a bridal line, if you do fall in love with her styles ^_~

   

   Bonnie

   23 Oct 09 at 1:28 pm

    

2. Oh, I forgot to mention that I’m getting married myself soonish in a design similar to this: http://www.damseldress.com/pirate.html ( the design on the bottom right) in what should be a light silver and blue fabric with a matching silver skirt. I say should only because I haven’t received the swatches, but I can’t wait. Yes, it’s called a pirate coat and it’s a corset. But I plan to wear tiny matching silk ribbon flowers in my hair and instead of the sleeves I’ll have a silk chemise with frothy lace at the cuffs. After the wedding, I’ll still be able to wear it to faires and anywhere I like, and it’s going to end up costing us far less than any custom made wedding dress ever would, and yet for versatility and fun, I think I’ve found a winner. ^_^

   

   Bonnie (The Quartermaster)

   23 Oct 09 at 1:38 pm

    

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